#21. Written By A Ghostwriter – There’s a Hole in my Bucket by Royd Tolkien (Kindle)

This is another of my forgotten Amazon First Reads – this time from July 2021. I picked this book because of the Tolkien name, but I knew it wasn’t going to be anything like the Lord of the Ring books due the difficult and sensitive subject matter. I did think it would be a harrowing but interesting read and would be treated with suitable gravitas. I was wrong.

 

“Having grown up on their great-grandfather’s stories, Royd Tolkien and his brother, Mike, have always enjoyed adventures. So when Mike is diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease, the brothers decide to use the time they have left to tick off as much as possible from Mike’s bucket list, from remote camping in Norway to travelling through Royd’s beloved New Zealand.

Yet, when Royd loses Mike, he discovers his brother had been writing another kind of bucket list: fifty things he wanted Royd to do after his death. His first task? Mike wants his mild-mannered brother to trip up on his way to the lectern to deliver his eulogy. What follows is a set of emotionally charged tests that will push Royd firmly out of his comfort zone.

This is the story of Royd’s journey to accomplish a challenging, humorous, and often heart-breaking list of unknown tasks that chart the brothers’ lives from childhood to adulthood. But above all, it is a story of the sibling bond, of grief—and of treasuring every moment.”

 

Due to the subject matter, I really wanted to be more positive about this book, but I found it hard to keep engaged reading, so I could only read a couple of the short chapters each evening until I eventually got to the end. The 357 pages seem to go on forever.

I cannot imagine how hard it would be to watch my adventurous brother become ill, health gradually declining, desperate to find an answer from doctors to what is wrong, only to finally be told it was Motor Neurone Disease. It doesn’t bear thinking about, and I wouldn’t wish that sort of suffering on anyone, but this book just feels like a self-indulgent bit of therapy cashing in on the Tolkien name.

It is clear from the book that Royd and Mike loved one another dearly but were very different people. Mike might have been the younger brother, but he would tease Royd mercilessly and always push that little bit further; whether it was how high he could climb a tree or how high he could throw himself out of an airplane, Mike always had to get the better of Royd who didn’t share the same bon homie as his brother, he seemed happier with his feet on the ground with a cuppa.

Whilst Royd’s family were obviously not rich, they did enjoy a level of privilege that many people will not be familiar with. The chapters relating to Royd and Mikes life prior to diagnoses tell of adolescent adrenaline junkies that later turned into “middle-aged” men trying to still act like teenagers. (Mike was only 39 when he died, but he was a father, and there is a fine line between having fun and acting like an idiot.) Their tales of regular “daring do” in places like Chamonix and Avoriaz became a bit tedious, and I imagined they would be the kind of guys down the pub who you wish would clear off and be loud and annoying somewhere else. 

"So while I fully intended to go to the gym, I'm also predisposed to laziness. And vain and lazy don't mix well."

Mike compiled a bucket list for Royd to complete after his death and in all honesty, it just seemed like an excuse to continue the juvenile behaviour from beyond the grave, or at least that is how it appeared in the book.

The “Bucket List” is a series of 50 challenges for Royd to complete, most of which are in New Zealand, where The Lord of the Rings was filmed (TLOTR being written by their great-grandfather.) Whilst completing these challenges, Royd is being filmed for a documentary, as well as writing a book about his adventures. I suppose this frippery had to be paid for somehow. Despite constantly being ridiculed in the book, it turns out that we’re not reading a book written by Royd, but the cameraman got roped into doing the job.

I understand that the death of a sibling is hard, especially if it’s a younger sibling, however, if the reason for writing is a cathartic experience, wait until you are ready to put pen to paper. Write a journal to keep the memories alive and write the book when you feel you can do justice to your sibling’s memory. Alternatively, get a professional ghostwriter in to write a book that celebrates your sibling’s memory and raises awareness of MND.

This book does neither if I’m honest. The timeline is all over the place, jumping back and forth, never allowing the reader enough time to engage with Mike, Royd or the rest of the family at any level. I think it is commendable that Royd was able to take time off work to care for his brother, but the tone the book takes is more of a vain ‘what a good boy I am’ than an informative read.

The book also seemed like a great excuse to have a pop at the UK health system. I know the NHS is stretched to breaking point and it must have been infuriating being passed from pillar to post, but as Royd says himself MND is hard to diagnose. I agree that the system could work better and that it is infuriating that medical notes don’t get passed properly from one area to another, but perhaps the book could have been used to highlight what needs to be done, rather than just vilifying the health professionals (especially as their advice was often disregarded.) There are times when the anger seems completely justified, and the attitude of some of the professionals seemed poor to say the least, however, I am sure another writer could have raised these issues in a more coherent manner.

I suspect most people will pick this book up to read due to the Tolkien name, as I did, and expect a diligently written piece. What we have is little more than a high-school diary of snapshot moments in time, most of which become repetitive.

In respect of the items on the bucket list the book is formulaic:

1.    Receive a task.

2.    Royd is scared or embarrassed to do it because Mike has chosen things which he knows Royd will hate.

3.    Royd insists he really doesn’t want to do the task.

4.    Royd does the task.

5.    Royd loves the task, it has made him less scared, stronger, braver etc.

6.    Back to step 1 to receive another task.

I loved the special bond that Royd and Mike had, and as distressing as it was to read about Mikes deterioration, it was an interesting insight into the condition. There were times when I was laughing at Royd’s internal monologue about how terrified he was doing things and that brought some light relief to the book, but the book is just too amateurish, full of crude and vulgar language and trading on a well-known name rather than quality content.

It’s such a shame really, because this book was a great opportunity for insight and understanding, and instead it was a book of namedropping and boy’s own style adventures. I get that some of the things on the bucket list should be a bit of fun, but perhaps some of the items could have been more inspiring or of benefit to those dealing with MND.

If I’m honest, I only kept reading because it mentioned that the brothers “grew up on a smallholding on the out-skirts of Halkyn, a little village in the wilds of North Wales.” This is a place most people haven’t heard of, just up the road from where I live. My late uncle lived on the top of Halkyn Mountain and I used to go up there to walk the dogs, and when I was older, go horse-riding. It’s always interesting reading a book when you know the area that is being written about, so the chapter about Moel Famau felt particularly poignant as I could visualise where Royd had chosen to let his brother rest.

All in all, it’s not the best memoir I’ve ever read.

 

Genre: Non-Fiction, Memoir, Biography, Travel, Adventure

Release Date: 1^st August 2001

Publisher: Little A

Pages: 347

 

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