“It is 5:30 am on Clio's
forty-fifth birthday and her hated ex is lying dead on her doorstep. Even
worse, this is no accident. Someone’s killed him...
When single mum Clio’s ex Gary
turns up dead on the doorstep of her caravan – the one she’s been forced to
live in ever since he stole every penny she had – there’s only one suspect.
Her.
What’s more, she doesn’t remember
much about the night he was killed – not just because of the forgetfulness
that’s been plaguing her along with the hot flushes – but because she
definitely had one too many cocktails with her two best friends Amber and Jeanie.
Clio does remember them talking
about how much they all hated him though. And, in the frame for murder, she has
to ask herself – if she didn’t kill Gary, who did? One of his many enemies? Or
someone a little closer to home? And can she and her friends find the real
killer before it’s too late?.”
Clio, Jeanie and Amber are celebrating Clio’s 45th birthday in the caravan she now calls home (which belongs to her first ex-husband Bez, and is due to her second ex-husband Gary, stealing her home and business from her and leaving her as a single parent to look after her and Bez's teenage daughter Nina.)
As forty somethings, all three women are experiencing
difficulties in life, and this night is a chance for them to really let their hair
down and let things get messy.
“Maybe Amber's lethal margaritas had tipped her
over the edge - cocktails mixed by someone doing the Macarena were always going
to be a risk.”
After drinking and dancing the night away, Amber manages to
lock herself in the toilet, Jeanie has passed out on the floor, and Clio has
gone for a walk among the sand dunes. When she returns to the caravan, she finds
her ex-husband Gary slumped on the doorstep with his head bashed in. Naturally,
instead of ‘phoning the police, Clio immediately panics that she might have
done the dirty deed. She is in the throes of the menopause and has become
rather forgetful recently, plus it doesn’t help she’s drunk far too many
cocktails during the evening. Roll on much hilarity as the three friends try to
unravel the truth to clear Clio’s name!
There is a gentle humour which runs throughout the book; I shall be stealing the term “self-medicating with Nutella” and keeping it for when I’m having a truly awful day. That aside, I found the dialogue forced and unnatural, and the plot and characters unoriginal and contrived. Clio is struggling living in the claustrophobic space of the caravan and is menopausal, and consequently, tired, emotional and forgetful. Jeanie had a successful career but desired children. After finally becoming a mum of beautiful twins, who are dominating her life, she has lost all her confidence. Amber was sacked from the police force and now has a chip on her shoulder and will do anything to prove to her ex-boss Marcus that she shouldn’t have been fired.
I enjoyed reading a story as seen through the eyes of the
main characters, and I thought the duel timeline a good technique to allow the
reader to accompany the murder victim in the last hours of his life. This was
an interesting viewpoint and cemented my hatred of the character. But by the
time I was a quarter of the way through this book, I realised that I’d figured
out the murderer and that I didn't really care for any of the characters. I had
a strange ambivalence towards them all. The crime fighting triumvirate of Clio,
Jeanie and Amber were exasperating for many different reasons, Gary was
obnoxious, Bez and Nina were harmless but boring, and Marcus was a nincompoop.
Fortunately, I didn’t hate the book so I continued reading;
I was right about the murderer, and glad that the box for “At Least Four
Different POV” could be ticked off the list!
“It must be nice having an inheritance. All
Gary's dad had left him were freckles and an allergy to freshly cut grass.”
I hated Gary; he had no moral compass at all. Not one
redeeming feature. Clio had all the reasons in the world to kill him, but then
so did everyone else he came into contact with. He even sank so low as to steal
funds from Nina’s bank account, savings she was putting towards university so
she could follow her life’s dream of becoming a doctor. He was a narcissist
through and through, an egotistical, self-loving ladies’ man. The type of
person who wouldn’t be missed if bludgeoned to death on the steps of a caravan!
The ineptitude of the police investigation (obviously due
to Amber no longer being in the force) means it is down to the three women to
blunder along trying to workout who did it, turning the novel into more of a
comedy/farce than a detective story. To be fair, there is nothing wrong in
that, the story is rather witty in places and did have me chuckling out loud,
plus the blurb about the book did make it sound like a fun read. “How Not to
Murder Your Ex” is not a bad book, it just lacks originality for me and
doesn’t seem to know what genre it is aiming for. Is it comedy, chick-lit or
cosy crime? It is an easy read, a good choice for sitting on the beach,
cocktail in hand, but I don’t think the characters will remain with you once
your pina colada is finished!
The cosy crime genre is heavily populated especially with
the likes of big names such as Richard Osman and Anthony Horowitz who are well
established in this field. This book was billed as something new for fans of
“The Thursday Murder Club” or “How to Kill Your Family,” books that I have
really enjoyed reading, however, I found the plot was too predictable and I had
worked out the murderer early on. I didn’t feel any element of suspense or
surprise, and it seemed more geared towards female loyalty and the lengths that
women will go to, to help each other out.
When I researched the author, I found she already has a successful career writing romantic fiction and that this is her first foray into crime. This does not surprise me at all. I didn't hate “How Not to Murder Your Ex” but unfortunately I won't be bothering with the second book in the “Bad Girl’s Detective Agency” series.
Genre: Mystery, Cozy Mystery,
Crime, Murder Mystery, Thriller, Chick Lit
Release
Date: 1st
December 2023 – Kindle
Publisher: Boldwood Books
Pages: 354
This book is currently unavailable to purchase from Bookshop.org
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